How did Lord Buddha walk through the trials and tribulations of life ?
Mindfulness is one of the latest but oldest and ancient ways of achieving a state of mind. A state of mind away from emotional turmoil , a way to live a more vital existence and feel more connected to what matters to you.
2,500 years ago, Buddha changed the life of millions of people, he was a prince who gave up everything, his kingdom his young beautiful wife and wealth to live the life of a monk. He gained enlightenment until the shade of the Bodhi tree.
“…whatever arises in your life, no matter how awful, no matter how dark, is workable,” Jon Kabat-Zinn co developer of MBCBT ( Mindfulness Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) says. – Counselling Northern Beaches. Continue Reading
From the category archives:
Anger Management
Its really handy to know how to assert oneself at any moment. These opportunities can pop up at any time unbewares. People mistakenly believe that you have to be aggressive to be assertive. Actually this is a myth , and there is a way to state your needs without stepping on someone else’s toes. I’m noticing the honeymooners here in romantic bliss all cosy in the pool, but I also see some icy stares at the breakfast tables. Respect for one another may be a hard task in the heat of the moment, and its steaming hot here in Thailand. Continue Reading
I woke up to pale lilac and pink skies, the palm fronds green and alive with life force . formations of pegasus riding high as white fluffy clouds , and as I marvelled at the animal spirit in this exotic land I caught sight of a peacock cloud floating by. In ancient Chinese feng sui, this is a great auspicious sign for happiness in relationships .
a lazy swim then climbing the stairs up the mountain side, I discovered the spa, a place of heavenly pleasures , a shoulder and back massage to iron out the kinks , what a treat and it only cost $11 AUD!!!!I’m doing this every day I vowed, This is stress management strategies in practice!
Have you thought about pampering yourself at the end of a stressful day? what about a bath with sea salts and fragrant oils? You may not be so lucky as me in Thailand but do something nice for yourself .
“I know I’m wrong but I’m too proud to apologize!”
Does this apply to you? if so then you are probably holding your anger and the argument just goes on forever. These are issues we deal with in anger management strategies. Three things could be happening , someone’s refusing to admit they’re wrong, someone is refusing to apologize even when they know they are wrong or someone, we won’t mention whom, is hanging onto their anger by refusing to accept another’s apology.
If you are in this kind of stalemate, then you may not have ever learnt how to apologise. If you want to know how
There ís no way to get around the fact that while our closest relationships can bring us security, love and companionship, they can also be a minefield of conflict, challenges and disagreements! None are more so than the intimate relationships between couples. Relationship counselling can aid communication and enable couples to overcome serious areas of conflict in the long term.
Areas of Conflict
There are a whole host of topics that can cause conflict in a relationship, see if you can recognise any:
* Parenting Methods
* Sex
* Money
* Politics
* Religion
* Other Family Members
* Outside Interests
* Housework
* Jealousy
Sometimes an inability of the couple to resolve one or more of these issues means that the future of the relationship can be threatened. This is where relationship counselling comes in and can be extremely helpful.
Resentment & Responsibilities
When we’re in the ,first flourishes of being in love it can be impossible to imagine that there will ever be a time when we might need to see a relationship counsellor. As time goes on though, and more responsibilities are heaped onto the relationship such as debt, parenting and running a house, those initial feelings of being deeply in love can get overshadowed by arguments and resentments. If these are left unresolved they can eat into the positive aspects of the relationship.
It’s important to note at this point, that not all conflict is bad! Conflict between partners is inevitable and healthy. Furthermore, when it is managed well, it actually strengthens the bonds between you and your partner.
Communication Problems
It’s really about how disagreements and conflict are addressed in the relationship. If you can talk about any aspect of your relationship honestly, openly and respectfully, then you are unlikely to need help with your relationship. But when we reach a stalemate with our partner and resentments have escalated into an ongoing struggle, deciding to go into relationship counselling is a very healthy and positive step. At the very least it means that you both want the relationship to continue, just not in it’s current form.
A skillful relationship counsellor will be objective, help you communicate your real thoughts and feelings with each other and will not take sides. He or she may help you explore the roots of the conflict which could have come from experiences in your respective childhoods, rather than a fundamental problem in your relationship.
Good relationship counselling will help you heal your relationship by teaching you how to be really honest about your deepest feelings, anxieties and insecurities and also teach you to respect each others differences. It will help you to listen properly to each other and stop assuming you know what the other is thinking or feeling, which underlies many relationship breakdowns.
Deciding to choose relationship counselling is definitely a step in the right direction!
Dr. Franklin Rubenstein, Ph.D. has made learning anger skills a fun game for children. This is a great way for kids to play and learn early in life.
Kids can experience anger ranging from mild annoyance to intense rage. “While the feeling of anger is a normal human response to unmet goals or unfair treatment, uncontrolled anger becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely, or too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately.” Kids can learn how to control angry feelings, this is a vital aspect of healthy social and emotional development.
The Remote Control Anger Control game is a set of four card games that address these findings by focusing on three essential skills for controlling anger:
PAUSE and identify additional feelings.
REWIND and learn from past experiences.
FAST FORWARD and think ahead about potential consequences.
Do the smallest things make you angry?, furious?..or enraged?! If so, then you could well be experiencing an anger management problem.
Anger can be a very difficult emotion to deal with as it can quickly become all consuming, affecting our ability to think rationally and make wise choices. Many people choose to learn anger management techniques to free themselves from these kinds of destructive and negative effects.
Constant or frequent feelings of anger can cause a great deal of damage – they hurt you and also hurt others around you. Your body will be suffering through increased stress levels and higher blood pressure. Your mind will be plagued by negative thoughts leaving little room for positive emotions. Your relationships will suffer if you do not know how to manage your anger safely and positively.
Anger management techniques are fairly easy to learn but do require a little practice to really impact on your life on a daily basis.
Anger Management Technique
This first easy technique for managing your anger is centred around changing your thinking patterns. Instead of blaming others for our anger we need to accept, that for the most part, the things that people do are not designed to make us angry, they are just getting on with their lives. Their actions are not personal to us and therefore we shouldn’t take it personally!
That driver that cut you off last week could have just come from visiting their dying mother in the hospital or they might have seen another danger on the road that you failed to see. Itís very unlikely that they cut you off on purpose.
Are We Really Under Threat?
The truth is that most of what causes us to feel angry is not a personal attack on us though we often perceive it as such. When we think we are being attacked, anger is a natural biological response to help us fight off the danger, but those of us with anger management problems can see attacks and threats in the wrong places. Here are a few examples of when anger may not be appropriate and we when need to think about whether the action is personal or not:
* Someone cuts us off when driving
* Our spouse forgets to do something we asked them to do
* Our teenager borrows something without asking
* The waiter brings us the wrong order
* Our boss does not praise the work we do
* Our parent criticizes a decision we made
* A friend lets us down at the last minute
Some of these actions above may make us feel sad, neglected, disappointed or ignored, but those are our feelings to deal with, we don’t need to make someone else responsible for them.
Remember that in 99% of cases the other person will have simply been getting on with their own lives and their actions are not designed to hurt us. There are many anger management techniques available and this one called “It’s not personal!” can be learned quickly and easily, so why not try it!
Psychologists don’t view anger as a disorder but they can help if your anger is scaring someone!
Here’s a checklist to see if you have a problem with anger:
1. Do you get angry too often?
2. Do you stay in that angry state and can’t get out of it when you want?
3. Does your angry behaviour tend to ruin your relationships personally or professionally?
4. When you get angry, do you feel out of control?
5. Do people run when you get angry?
If you answered yes to these questions, then you could benefit from classes in managing your anger. Anger is a normal emotion but if it gets out of hand, it could ruin your relationships.
A well rounded programme will teach skills in stress management, empathy, assertive communication, expectation management, forgiveness, improving judgment and impulse control, and improving self-talk.
Its informative not punitive. Don’t be deterred by misconceived stigmas, be proactive and improve your life.
Its a class not psychotherapy. It can be one to one or learned in a group situation. It’s your choice.
I really enjoyed the following article. Have a read if you want more tips….
Anger Management Self Help – Learn to Control Your Anger Before it Controls You
By BK Carter
Do you know how to deal with your anger in everyday situations? All of us get angry once in a while, it’s a necessary emotion triggered by the human’s “fight or flight” mechanism. Learning to cope with anger before it goes to far is extremely important for your mental and physical health. These health problems could include heart disease, stroke, or even depression.
Anger doesn’t always have to show itself in an all out rage that causes you to go off cussing and cursing. Sometimes it’s the little irritations that can add up into bigger problems. That’s why figuring out what triggers your anger is very important. For example, one of my triggers is crowds. I despise being in crowds and I hate people bumping into me all of the time. Over the years I have learned to avoid crowds as much as possible; I go to the mall during the day or on Sunday mornings and I stay away from big events. In the long run, this has helped me keep from becoming irritated which is one of the things that leads to my anger.
A good way to deal with your anger when you feel it coming on is to get away from the situation. After you walk away, take a deep breath and count to ten. The air will bring good energy into your body and when you breathe out, the bad energy will go with it. While you are away, you can think about if the problem was just a minor irritation that got out of hand or if you really need to confront the problem. If you feel you need to confront the issue, you will be able to get your game plan together as well.
What I have shared with you here are a couple of small steps that you can take in your [http://7offers.com/anger-management-help]anger management self help journey. There are many more steps that you can learn to implement in your life to get control back. There are even more steps covered at [http://7offers.com/anger-management-help]7offers.com/anger-management-help.